Home Is Where I Belong
by holysmokesphan
Summary: The Hunger Games/Phan crossover. Dan is finally home after being weeks away, and after winning the 75th Annual Hunger Games. Dan is suffering from PTSD, and is still trying to get through everything that he went through in the Games. Luckily, he has Phil with him, who comforts him through every step of the way.


Dan Howell sighed as he sat in a chair, staring at the window. He's been sitting on this train for a few hours now, and he was anxiously waiting to be taken back home, where his family and his loving boyfriend waited for him. That's was all on Dan's mind; family and boyfriend.

These past few weeks have definitely been hard for Dan, to say the least.

It was just two days ago that he was crowned the winner of the 75th Annual Hunger Games, and he still couldn't believe it. Dan never thought that he would be in the Games, and he definitely never thought that he would win it. All he did was volunteer for his sister but yet, here he was. Things were different, and things were changing... and Dan wasn't sure if he was ready for new change yet, especially after everything that he went through in the games.

One hour later;

Dan took a deep breath as he stood in front of the door. In just seconds, he was going to see all the people he loved and cared about after not seeing them for weeks. He didn't know how to feel, there were so many mixed emotions running through his body. But, all he knew was that he was home and that's where he belonged now. He didn't care about anything else, but home.

Dan closed his eyes, and then he slowly opened them. His eyes went slightly wide as soon as he saw that there was a large crowd of people, waiting for him to arrive back at District 12. Dan didn't care about those people though. He quickly scanned the crowd and he gasped as soon as he spotted the familiar face that he had missed. He pushed past the crowd of people and immediately ran up to his boyfriend, flinging his arms around him and hugging him tightly, and he didn't even try to stop the tears from pouring out of his eyes.

"Dan!" Phil breathed as he held onto Dan. "Oh my God, I missed you so much."

"I love you," Dan whispered as he hid his face in Phil's chest.

"I love you too," Phil whispered back as he closed his eyes.

"Where's mum at?" Dan asked, finally pulling away from Phil after hugging him for a few seconds longer. "I thought she and my sister were going to be here today?"

"They're already at the new house, we thought it would be best if I just came," Phil said.

"Fuck, it's so good to hear your voice again," Dan whispered. He wrapped his arms around Phil and hugged him tightly. "I missed you so much. God, I missed you so fucking much."

Phil chuckled as he hugged Dan back. "Things have been so hard without you here," he said.

"Did you watch?" Dan asked, pulling away from the hug again.

"Of course I watched. I didn't take my eyes away from the screen," Phil said.

"I still can't believe I was actually in the Games," Dan whispered.

"Hey, why don't we go talk about this at home? It's kind of creepy having everyone watch us," Phil said. He bit his lip nervously as he looked around at the crowd that was still there.

"Oh, yeah. Let's go," Dan said. He immediately grabbed Phil's hand and held onto it.

Phil smiled as he held onto Dan's hand, and then they started walking to the new house.

Because Dan won the Hunger Games, he was getting to live in a new area in District 12 and was getting him and his family a bigger and better house. Dan was poor before, but now he had all the money that he could ever need. Which was good, considering how some people lived in District 12. Dan was just glad his family had somewhere better to live now.

"Wow," Dan whispered as they walked up to the house. "Its... big. I didn't expect this."

"Wait until you see the inside," Phil whispered before he pushed open the door.

Dan gasped as soon as he saw how much bigger the house was on the inside. He nervously stepped inside the house, and then he looked over and his eyes began to water up as soon as he spotted his mother and younger sister standing by the door.

"Welcome home Dan," his mother said with a smile on his face.

"Oh," Dan immediately ran over to his mother and hugged her tightly. "I missed you."

"We missed you too," she whispered. "And I'm so proud of you."

"I never want to leave home again," Dan cried as he held onto his mother.

"We won't let you leave again," Dan's sister, Elizabeth, said.

Dan pulled away from his mother and smiled as he looked down at Elizabeth, or Emily, as he called her most of the times. "And how are you? Are you okay?" He asked.

Emily nodded. "I'm okay," she said with a smile. "I told you that you could win."

Dan chuckled and he pulled her into a hug. "I think I missed you the most," he whispered.

"Okay, are you hungry Dan? We've set up dinner for you already," Mrs. Howell said.

Dan pulled away from the hug and looked over at his mother. "You didn't have to do that,"

"We wanted to. It's the least we could do after everything you've done for us," Emily said.

"Alright kiddo. Let's go eat. Phil?" Dan asked, looking over at Phil. "A-Are you staying?"

"Do you want me to stay?" Phil asked, walking over to Phil.

"What do you think?" Dan asked, taking Phil's hand in his own.

Phil smiled. "We have weeks worth of cuddles to catch up on later," He said.

"I'm also looking forward to that," Dan said with a smile.

Dan spent the rest of his night catching up with his family and cuddling with his boyfriend.

It was weird for home to be him, but he couldn't be more happier to be home.

Home is where he was the happiest, with his family and boyfriend.

It's been a couple weeks now since Dan has come home from being in The Hunger Games; and things have definitely been different since he's been home. Dan was still getting used to his usual routine, but things were also harder because he was still suffering from what he went through in the games. He couldn't hunt the same without picturing himself killing another human being, and he was having haulicinations all the time. The worst part was Dan was woken up nearly every night because of nightmares, so Phil had to sleep with him.

Dan sighed as he sat in front of the lake, looking around everywhere. He had tried hunting, but failed once again. He was growing more and more annoyed with himself.

Dan jumped and looked over as soon as he heard footsteps coming from behind him, relieved to see that it was only Phil. "Oh, hey..." He said nervously.

"Hey," Phil said as he walked over to Dan. "Your mum said you'd be here."

"Yeah," Dan said as he watched Phil sit down next to him. "Will I ever be normal again?"

"What do you mean?" Phil asked, blinking a few times as he looked over at Dan.

"I can't hunt, I can't sleep. How much longer will this go on?" Dan asked, sighing as he picked up a small rock and threw it into the lake. "I just want my life back... to be normal again."

"Dan, you went through a lot when you were in the Games. Obviously I don't know exactly what you went through but I watched you every step of the year, so I've got a pretty good idea. Maybe it'll take awhile, maybe you'll be yourself again before we know it but... its perfectly normal for someone to be like this after they've suffered some trauma."

Dan sighed and then he rested his head on Phil's shoulder. "This is what I get for just wanting to save my sister. We all know she wouldn't have stood a chance in the Games."

"You said the same thing about yourself and now look where you are," Phil whispered as he gently wrapped his arms around Dan and pulled him closer. "You'll be fine, Bear."

"It's been awhile since anybody's called me that," Dan said as he looked up at Phil.

Phil smiled as he looked back down at Dan. "Would you like me to call you Bear more often?"

"Yes please," Dan said with a smile on his face. A real, genuine smile. It's definitely been a couple of weeks since Phil's seen one of those smiles on Dan's face, and he missed them.

"It's been awhile since I've seen that dimple of yours," Phil said as he poked Dan's cheek.

Dan giggled and then he hid his face in Phil's chest. "How'd I get so lucky to have you?"

"Believe me, I ask myself the same question about you everyday," Phil said.

"No!" Dan screamed as he sat up, panting heavily and sweating. He looked around, trying to figure out where he was and what was really going on, as he was completely confused.

"Dan?" Phil asked as he sat up. "Hey, relax. You're okay," He said as he wrapped an arm around Dan and held onto him. "It was just a nightmare. I promise, you're safe with me."

"No! Let me go of me!" Dan cried as he tried to push Phil away.

"Dan!" Phil yelled with shock. "I'm not going to hurt you," He tried to grab Dan's hands.

"Don't touch me!" Dan yelled as he kept trying to push Phil away.

Phil quickly grabbed Dan's hands and pushed him down on his back, pinning him down on his back, trying to calm him down. This wasn't the first time he's had to do this.

"Dan, it was just a nightmare. Please calm down," Phil begged as he struggled to keep Dan pinned down on the bed. Phil hated it when Dan had bad nightmare's, normally he would be able to keep him calmed down but sometimes they were worse than others.

"Please, let me go," Dan begged as he closed his eyes. He took deep breaths as he looked around. "Wh-Where am I?" He asked nervously. He finally looked up at Phil.

"You're home, safe. Nobody's going to hurt you, I promise. You're with me," Phil said.

Dan took a few more deep breaths and then he started to calm down some more. "I-I'm sorry. I was scared, I didn't mean to push you away. I would... I would never do that."

"It's okay," Phil whispered. He finally let go of Dan and slid off of him. "Are you okay?"

"Define okay," Dan mumbled as he turned and hid his face in Phil's chest.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this. You don't deserve it," Phil whispered as he wrapped his arms around Dan and held onto him tightly yet gently. "I don't like seeing you like this."

"It's not your fault," Dan mumbled as he few tears slipped out of his eyes.

"Yes, but there's nothing I can do to make you feel better and it kills me to see you like this," Phil said. "I just want you to be happy again. I want you to be able to sleep without having any nightmares, and I want you to be able to hunt again just like you used to."

"Phil," Dan whispered as he looked up at him. "I'm going to be okay... eventually."

"But, a-are you happy? Like, right now?" Phil asked nervously as he looked down at Dan.

Dan slowly nodded. "I'm happy... as long as I have you," he said.

Phil couldn't help but smile a little. "It's a good thing I'm not going anywhere anytime soon,"

"Thank you..." Dan said as he rested his head on Phil's chest.

"What are you thanking me for?" Phil asked, blinking a few times.

"For just... being there, not giving up. Any normal guy would have gone and left me by now because of all of this. You're the only one who truly sticks by me and helps me," Dan said.

"In that case, you're welcome. I wouldn't ever leave you no matter the reason," Phil said.

"Just promise me one thing?" Dan asked, closing his eyes.

"Anything,"

"That you'll never leave me? Ever," Dan said. He took a deep breath.

"I promise,"

"As long as you're with me... I'll be okay," Dan said. He let out a yawn.

Phil chuckled as he looked down at Dan. "Get some sleep love, you need it," he said.

Dan slowly nodded, and then he snuggled up to Phil. "I love you,"

"I love you too Bear," Phil smiled.


End file.
